There’s A Reason Why I Don’t Own A Spaceship

Guys, we have it easy. I’m definitely not the best player out there, in fact I suck. But I get by.
Back in the days though! There was no mercy! No mercy!!

I’ll explain my rage in a bit, for now, lets have a little gander at R-type!

So first off, the visuals are stunning. There’s absolutely no laziness in the art, especially within the limits that was given; if anything the limits were pushed. For a simple concept of a game, the background art does well to keep a steady flow of entertainment and atmosphere, and expanding the world as the spaceship goes deeper into the level. The colors do well to differentiate enemies and color of fire from both enemy and spaceship. The color also adds life to each individual which pop out of their 2D constraints.
Enemies are unpredictable from where they will enter the screen, keeping players on their toes. And they don’t always follow in a straight line, as some will come in a scattered group. The game tries to use as much space as it can, placing enemies on the bottom as well, which means more to aim, fire and dodge.
The upgrades in this game are awesome! Each type of weapon upgrade has its own way of firing and effect. Like the charge up ones, and the beams that bounce off everywhere and missiles flying at different directions! What I also like is the manner in wish the ship upgrades. The upgrades attaches itself to the ship in a magnetic way, extending it in a really nice shape.

So I also found a link where you can play the first two levels of R-type:

http://www.classicgamesarcade.com/game/21604/r-type-flash-game.html

And this is where my rage comes into.
I can only go so far in the first level, the FIRST! The game is so different from just watching it and playing it, honestly, I didn’t think it was gonna be that challenging! Like I said, I’m not a fantabulous player, but nor is R-Type a fantabulous friend. The unpredictable enemies? They really mess you over, especially because they shoot unpredictably too. You know what they do? They shoot you in the back once you think they’re gone! Yeah, space isn’t a nice place to be in you guys! Don’t go there! If your parents are thinking about moving to space, call the police! That thought right there is inducing child abuse and totally encouraging bullying.
Clearly you have to play this game at least a thousand times before you know what the hell is going on…
The ship is so fragile, I was a bigger threat to myself than the enemy because I’d go too close to the ground and hit it and die! The spaceship doesn’t even endure a few scratches, it just plays the amateur dramatics card straight up! Kaboom! “Owww my engines been hit!” Man up and grow a pair Arrowhead!
I guess in my defense for being a crappy player is that I’m not used to playing on a pc. No joke, I’m struggling badly on Super Meat Boy because I’m too lazy to hook up a controller to the game… I’d suck at that too, but not as much…

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One thought on “There’s A Reason Why I Don’t Own A Spaceship

  1. Love the post and yes… it’s hard. But practice makes perfect. I can now do the first two levels without losing a life on the 360, the trick is staying alive long enough for your force to be up at full size. 😀

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